Old School Blogging

So, I met some really fantastic women through my recent Listen to Your Mother experience.  Many of them are bloggers, some who write with more frequency than others.  Over the last couple days, I've seen two of them post about "Old School Blogging" and I decided to join in on the fun! 

Thank you to Elaine (who I've never 'met') at Miss Elaine-ous Life and Angela at Jumping with my Fingers Crossed for hosting the OSB Link-Up!

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I am finding myself daily, accepting of the person I have become but always striving to be better, trying to figure out if I've made the "right" decisions.

("What am I doing here?" at Saint Andrew's Hall, before Listen to Your Mother)

I wonder if I am the common denominator in lost things.

I hear music in my head, all day, everyday.  The soundtrack of my life is constantly playing (and usually stuck on whatever song was on last in the car).

I see the long road behind me, an even longer one ahead.

 

I want to just be happy.  I get too lost in the "what if" and not the "this, right now."

I am tired, almost 100% of the time.

I pretend that things will get better, even when it feels like they won't.

I feel everything.  My heart aches, it leaps, it skips every now and then.  I feel with everything in me.

I touch my nails, picking at them and the skin around them when I'm nervous, anxious, or bored.

I worry about the future and my role in it and that it won't ever be what I want it to be.

I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm surprised, when I'm hurt.

I am waiting for something amazing to happen.

 

I understand that the decisions I've made have shaped who I am.  I do not always agree with decisions I've made.

I say things I'm feeling without realizing the impact the words will have when they're heard.

I dream of babies that never were and children that might be.

I try to make everyone else happy before I take care of myself.

I hope to learn how to flip that every once in awhile.

I am almost thirty, treading water, and trying to stay afloat.